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A Very Satisfied Couple, Obviously in Bed

Article by Lori J Collins MS MFT

I just opened this great Valentine’s Day card that my husband gave me. I didn’t even realize this was our 22nd Valentine’s Day together until just now. Just minutes earlier, I was rushing out of the house to take our daughter to a 7:00 PM basketball practice, when my husband handed me a Valentine’s Day card and heart shaped box of chocolates. I thanked him, gave him a peck on the cheek and off I went. As I opened the card a few cities away from my husband, I laughed, as it made me think of our marriage, sex life, the joy of having children, dogs, and a very full life; and how all of these don’t always mix. The card peeked into a very satisfied couple, obviously in bed. The card stated something like, “Just because we’ve been married a long time, doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy Valentine’s Day (if you know what I mean).” Then, you open the card and it shows a full view of the couple holding hands in bed looking quite content, with a little boy on one side of the couple and a little girl, on the other, with a dog at the foot of the bed, that looks a lot like one of our dogs, Frankie. You would have thought this was our family picture. I laughed as I was reminded of how much I love my husband, our kids and our life. Of course, our dogs too. I commiserate with all you couples out there who are attempting to balance your relationship with your partners, kids, family, work and all that life brings when you are raising a family. Happy Valentine’s Day!

To help keep your relationship thriving, here are 5 Tips to keep your love alive on Valentine’s Day and every day throughout the year.

5 Tips for Carving Out Couple Time: Guilt Free!

Time becomes so precious when you have young children. People often feel guilty if they’re not spending enough time with their kids. The dilemma is the couple relationship can suffer as a result. Here are five tips to carve out couple time guilt free!

  1. Think Nike, “JUST DO IT”: Carve out couple time!
  2. Remember formula: Happy Couples = Happy Children and Families.
  3. Couples who play together, stay together.
  4. Connected Couples are great role models.
  5. It’s FUN to be a couple and not just a parent.

As Wallerstein and Blakeslee stated in their book, The Good Marriage, “Married people need each other, and they want and need contented children. Balancing the two needs is one of the most important and difficult tasks of marriage”. Please remember to carve out couple time. Trust me, your kids will thank you later.

Lori J. Collins, M.S. is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Redwood City, California. She specializes in working with couples and relationship issues. Lori is also married and raising two children. She can be reached at (650) 366-6800.

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