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The Road To A Good Marriage

Article by Lori J Collins MS MFT

The road to a good marriage is made smoother if you have a map which gives you guidance as to where to go. Knowing how to travel the terrain of a lifelong, fulfilling marriage can be accomplished with good directions. We didn’t get this with our marriage licenses or when we made the decision to commit to our partners. So here it is. The map would show signposts pointing you in the direction of aiming for solutions versus blaming each other. Understand gender differences especially communication and sexual differences. Spend time together having fun. Life can get way too serious. Lighten it up. What direction are you traveling? Do you ever talk about your plans for your journey?

Pay attention to the signposts along the way. One reads, “Make Your Relationship a Priority“. Another reads, “Stop Blaming and Start Aiming for Solutions“. Another reads, “Listen With an Open Heart and Mind“. Yet another reads, “Have Fun and Laugh Together“.

It’s okay to take different roads in your own cars from time to time but have your cell phones with you so you can communicate. Pick meeting places so you can share your exciting journeys, and your partner can be excited for you and provide encouragement.

Pay attention if you lose track of each other. Find your way back to each other by picking a meeting place to restart your journey together.

The road may be bumpy from time to time. Be aware that there will be roadblocks such as; death, job loss, buying a home, etc. And there will be road diversions such as; the birth of a new baby, raising a family, a new job, etc. Stay your course. Make sure you have good shock absorbers like; commitment, friendship, kindness, consideration, lightheartedness, and humor. These will help absorb the impact that life brings and keep you on the road.

Some roads may be tempting to take, especially if you and your partner are temporarily on different roads and you’re feeling lonely, but remember your commitment to your destination together. Don’t be tempted with roads that are unpaved and filled with potholes causing flat tire fantasies and empty billboards that offer nothing.

Pay attention to the gauges on your car, otherwise you might end up on the side of the road. No one likes to overheat or run out of gas. Like the feelings in your heart, if you don’t acknowledge what you need and want, how will your partner know? Also, pay attention to what your partner needs and wants. Couples commonly get stuck by not understanding each other’s differences. Listen and share with an open heart and an open mind.

The road to a good marriage is made smoother if you share your plans for your journey with each other, and pay attention to your road signs. You might see them differently. Make sure you really understand and acknowledge these differences with love and respect. And don’t forget, have a fun trip.

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